


The Black Impala

by hold_my_tea



Category: Supernatural, Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-17
Updated: 2014-11-17
Packaged: 2018-02-25 19:51:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2634131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hold_my_tea/pseuds/hold_my_tea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When a black Impala rolls into Night Vale one day, a certain radio host gains an interest in telling what happens to the occupants inside.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Black Impala

"The night sky is beautiful, the void is endless, but sadly… You are blind. You can't see what I am talking about. Welcome to Night Vale.

"Hello listeners. I wanted to inform you that a car rolled into town today. It was a black one. If I'm not mistaken, I believe it was a 1967 Chevrolet Impala. Very nice if you ask me, but you didn't. Anyway, inside that car were two men. One with long hair the other with short hair. They both were wearing jackets.

"They checked into a motel and were not seen again for a few hours. When they emerged from their room, they had donned suits and went to the Sheriff's Secret Police Station to ask very strange questions.

"According to an Agent of the Sheriff's Secret Police, they asked about the sightings of angels, the lack of stars, the hooded figures, the forbidden dog park, and the Glow Cloud. The entire station then turned their eyes to the sky and said in monotonous unison, "All hail the Glow Cloud. All hail." The brothers were then promptly arrested and placed in a cell for questioning. They should have known better than to ask questions about the Dog Park. They shouldn't even know it exists. And furthermore, I would like to remind everyone angels do not exist and you should know nothing about the hierarchy of angels.

"In other news, John Peters, you know… the farmer, came by the station today with a shipment of imaginary corn. He gave me a special deal considering he knows how much I enjoy his corn. I plan on eating the corn tonight with Carlos. He just loves imaginary corn. I think he might enjoy it more than I do.

"Old woman Josie who lives out near the abandoned car lot was seen walking around town today with a tall shadowy figure who went by the name Erica. Erica was helping Old woman Josie carry her groceries back home. Did you hear that listeners? The angels- I mean, the figure was very helpful to Josie. Maybe we could all find someone who was that helpful with chores. Maybe we could chip in around the house in our own homes a little more. That reminds me, Carlos asked me to help him with an experiment later today! I am so excited! I am going to get to help my imperfect, perfect Carlos with science! Maybe we can celebrate later by going to Big Rico's and getting a slice of pizza or going home and enjoying this imaginary corn.

"I think I should move on to traffic at this point, dear listeners. So apparently there is a giant hole that appeared in the center of town. Well, I wouldn't really call it a hole but maybe a chasm. No, that's not the right word either. Deep hole? Really deep hole? Oh! I got it! Bottomless pit. I sent intern Charlie to investigate the hole to see just how deep it went. He made it over a hundred feet down when he called me on my cellphone and told me that he was nowhere near the bottom yet. That was when he grew panicked. He said his rope was breaking and he didn't have anything to grab onto. The walls of the pit were perfectly smooth. I then the sound of something snap followed by screaming. I still have him on my phone and he is still screaming. To the parents and loved ones of intern Charlie, I am sorry.

"The hole has caused cars to pile up but not before several dropped into the pit. No crash was heard and the Sheriff's Secret Police have denied the existence of a hole in town. So it must be all in our heads. This has been… traffic.

"Back to the men in the black impala that were recently arrested. It appears they have been released from custody. Apparently a man in a trench coat appeared and asked politely that the men were released. The Sherriff's Secret Police obliged him immediately. When asked why they released the men, they commented, 'He was wearing a trench coat. Only important people wear trench coats like that. So we did as we were asked.' I saw no reason to pursue the matter any further because they were right. Trench coats automatically make you important.

"Upon their release, the two men and their trench coat wearing friend got into their black impala and went to the Moon Light All Night Diner. The one with long hair ordered a salad, the one with short hair had a burger and a slice of apple pie. They both had beer. Their friend didn't order anything.

"Apparently their conversation in the diner was about our town. They said everyone here is strange and seems to ignore everything going on around us. The one with the shorter hair said that there was something wrong with us. I don't know about you, Night Vale, but I feel a little offended. What if we went into their hometown and said how strange it is. I bet they would be offended as well. I wonder if their parents ever taught them manners…

"Huh? What's that? Oh! Alright, thanks. Listeners, I have just been informed by intern Marshall that Mayor Pamela Winchell has called an emergency press conference in regards to the two men and their friend. Apparently she said, through gritted teeth and eyes squeezed shut, 'Those men should be ignored. Don't talk to them. Don't look at them. They do not exist and they have never existed. They are figments of your imagination. And if you think you see them or hear them, just place your fingers in your ears, close your eyes, and say, 'Lalala! You don't exist! You aren't real! Lalala!'

"What's that, Dana? Oh! There is a black impala outside the studio? Three people are demanding to see me? One is wearing a trench coat? He must be important! Alright, I'll be right there. Dear listeners, before I go for this meeting, I will bring you to The Weather."

[Carry On Wayward Son plays]

"Hello listeners, I have returned from my meeting with the lovely men of the black impala. They were discussing how I knew of there movements because they had been listening to the radio show. Apparently they came here because they are hunters and were hunting. They explained they hunt monsters but I explained how there were no monsters in Night Vale. Only the monsters within everyone's hearts and the occasional Erica sighting but everyone knows they don't exist.

"The man in the trench coat then stepped forward and gazed into my eyes. I was about to tell him I was flattered but I already was dating Carlos, but before I could even say anything, he put his hand on my head and I felt a rush of energy pass through me. I don't know what happened but everything became clear and even more beautiful that ever before. I learned his name was Castiel and that he claims to be an Angel of the Lord. The two men were names Sam and Dean Winchester and they have saved the world.

"When this moment of clarity passed, the three men were gone and I was sitting in the parking lot of the studio with Dana standing over me with a cup of water. I thanked her for it before walking back inside and coming in her to tell you of my experience.

"Now listeners, I have no idea if what I experienced was truth or just a wild hallucination but it made me think. There really are things out there that can be out of our control. People come into this town and they are always seen as strange but we must be open to them just as they must be open to us. Those men may have been strange but isn't everyone strange? Everyone is delightfully strange and that is what makes everyone beautiful.

"Before I go, I just want every one of you out there to know that I am happy to live in this town. No matter who you are, I am happy to be your neighbor. Even you, Steve Carlsberg, I am happy to be your neighbor despite our differences. As I close my eyes now, I can picture those two brothers driving away from out town. Classic rock coming out from their stereo as our broadcast begins to crackle and they can no longer hear my voice. I can picture them smiling at each other as they continue on down their road of life and blazing a trail. Those two men have seen so much and I just hope someday I can see them again.

"Goodnight, Night Vale."


End file.
